Kiss a Ghost

GOD IS A BIPOLAR SADIST

I

When this universe and the domains of time, reason, and causality didn't exist, The Woman, and The Man floated in a sexual embrace. Both with their eyes closed. Neither experiencing any emotion. Floating still.

Once they opened their eyes and gazed into each other. And thus Love came into existence. The Man thrusted into her. And thus Pain came into existence. The Man pulled back out. And thus Joy came into existence. The Man disintegrated into half and all except his testicles evaporated. From one came all the men and from other all the women. Together they made the mankind. From The Woman's womb came the material universe. From The Woman's breasts came all of living beings and all of physical phenomena and together they became mother nature. All the rest of The Woman below her neck evaporated. The Woman's hair went ablaze and burnt like hellfire. The Woman's mouth became softer and more delicate than ever, became sweet as honey.

Both of The Woman's eyes fell out and developed into two different infants. One of them climbed to her head and began living in the inferno of her head. The other chose to go down into her mouth and lived in the pure comforts and joys of The Woman's insides. The joy that lies by going through her lips. The Woman's head grew massive horns. And The Woman's teeth grew out long and pointy. These horns and the teeth jailed the Infants into their respective places.

One of the Infants only cries, screams and weeps in pain. The other only laughs and giggles in joy. The Woman reorganises the universe and the world based on the cries and laughter of her two Infants.

Continuously, The Woman systematically and intentionally makes the world a certain way so that the laughter and joy of one of her Infant outweighs the cries of the other Infant both in intensity and emotion.

Out of these two places where the Infants lived, one became Heaven and the other Hell.

The Woman is THE GOD.

II

The world is the way it is by design. Mankind lives here. People struggle for all their inconsequential, self-absorbed lives and then die. There is no rebirth. People of Mankind don't die to get judged for their actions. They don't go to heaven or hell. Heaven and hell are there only for the two Infants. For Mankind, there is No higher purpose. No divinity. No ultimate meaning. No Salvation.

All this is just a theatre for the Infants, orchestrated by the GOD. The Infants too don't have any purpose. No divinity. No salvation. Moreover, neither does GOD.

Cry. Smile. Suffer. Suffer. Suffer. Smile. Suffer. Sigh. Die.

At least humans die, GOD can only pray to die.

One instance of the inconsequential, uninteresting, boring and petty theatre played out here in this world goes as:

One of the Infant takes joy in it, while the other is devastated.

Rao comes back home after cremating his wife. He looks at his 10 yr old daughter Anamika, and finds her smiling and playing with her dolls. He then proceeds to beat her mercilessly. Back to back slaps and kicks until the poor girl starts bleeding from the nose. Rao was the reason his wife is dead. He beat her to death. Now that she was dead, it was Anamika's turn. After a few years, when puberty hit her and she grew into a woman, Rao began robbing her of her innocence and turning her from a happy, cheery and lively girl to just a piece of meat. Trauma and abuse all over the place. Finally, when Anamika turned 18, she ran away from the house and went to a faraway place. But with no means to sustain herself, she had to turn to prostitution. Later, she got pregnant and had a son. And then for some reason used to take her son to the railway station and just stand there for hours looking at oncoming trains like a body with no soul. Later she committed suicide.

About the personhood and life of Anamika, one of the Infant simply frowns, while the other simply smiles.

Rahul witnessed the brutal death of his elder brother in front of his eyes. Him and his brother were stripped naked and whipped in front of the whole town and then his brother murdered, chopped into pieces, boiled in his own blood and then served. Rahul was forced to eat his own brother by the assailants. Rahul was only 15 yr old at that time. And his mistake? He was the brother of a guy who bumped into the city don and refused to apologise because it wasn't his mistake. Lastly Rahul was left alive so that he becomes a living breathing example for the townsfolk. Since that day, the pain he used to undergo every day was unbearable. But he could not fight as he was not physically very strong and also did not have any support from anybody else. He had sworn for vengeance though. He decided to become a police officer to gain the ability to seek his redemption. But the day he was appointed, the perpetrators were murdered by their rival gang. Rahul's life went crashing down. He almost lost his mind as he could not imagine a life for himself where he did not get to taste the blood of his enemies. Still, he somehow managed to pull himself together and went on with a somewhat peaceful life for a while. All the past trauma was catching up to him and sometimes invoked cannibalistic urges in him. He was struggling to keep them at bay, and one day finally gave in. He used to come across dead bodies regularly due to his profession and so he began dining on them. His hunger for human meat became insatiable. Later he was made to eat his own arms and legs by someone and then thrown onto the streets of a faraway town. He died the death of a destitute with no limbs.

About the personhood and life of Rahul, one of the Infant sheds a tear, while the other drools with anticipation.

Karan was a 21 year old man. Was in love with a Muslim girl since the last 5 years. They both had made all the efforts to keep their relationship discreet but somehow her mother got to know about it. She lashed out on her, and made a scene. How could her religious hijabi daughter be in a relationship with a kaafir. People gathered and news broke to the neighbourhood. The girl was chained to her bed in her room and all her freedom was stripped. She was reduced to an animal in her own house. But since the news was out in the open, rumours were spreading like wildfire. Few days later her father heard that she was pregnant and her family has grounded her to keep the baby a secret. Now the truth value of this was immaterial to her parents. All that matters was people were willing to believe it.

Honour killing was imminent. She understood that her parents will kill Karan too, so she sneaked a message to him detailing why she couldn't contact him for the past few days and advising him to leave town pronto and run for his life. That same day she was murdered by her own parents in front of all their neighbourhood. Honour restored, supposedly. Karan had ran away though, but he was distraught with the situation and the news of her death finally got to him and he lost his mental stability. During daytime he frequented brothels trying to get prostitutes pregnant and at night time he used to go and frantically dig graves in graveyards in an attempt to find his fallen lover. To sustain himself he ran a shop near railway station and sold the proceeds of his graverobbing endeavours. He even had a son, illegitimate of course. He tries his best to take care of him, indirectly and discretely. One day he just disappeared out of nowhere and was never seen again.

About the personhood and life of Karan one of the Infants sighs and sobs while the other laughs.

When Ronny was 4 yr old, his mother used to take him to the railway station everyday for apparently no reason at all. She always used to appear very distressed and unsure of something. But one fateful day, she appeared very calm, as if she had figured everything out and now appeared sure of herself. Calm, relaxed, and self assured. As usual she was waiting for the train, and as one approaches at full speed, she holds up 4 yr old Ronny to her heart and kisses him. Then jumps in front of the train along with Ronny. Another man jumps behind her trying to save her. He manages to save Ronny but gets cut in half in the process. Little Ronny witnesses a man with a mangled face and cut in half who is writhing in pain all the while his own face is covered with meaty bits of what used to be her mother, but now is just some blood and a ground paste of meat and bones scattered here and there. A police man comes to the scene and Ronny saw him do something that got etched in his mind forever. Pay attention to the interconnections. The narratives are not independent — they form a web.

He was then put into an orphanage and later got adopted. He carefully crafted a persona of a healthy child and hid his inner thoughts from everyone. When he became a young adult, he murdered his loving parents, and carved out pieces of their meat to eat. Then he took all the money and ran away. As of now he is an influential person in an MNC, and also an uncaught serial killer who takes special joy in doing unspeakable things to police men. He also has a son Kartik, of whom he takes great care of so as to not let him become anything like his father.

About the personhood and life of Karan and Kartik one Infant bawls and cries, while the other laughs hysterically.

The Infants have the same reaction for Kartik too because by now, EVEN the Infants have figured out the pattern. The systematic pathways, which Mankind calls fate, put in place in the world by GOD to achieve a desired goal, which the Mankind calls suffering, are already in effect for Kartik too. Though Karan believes he has shielded him in all ways, he has no idea that Kartik to him is just like what he was to his own parents who adopted him. The cycle repeats. The trauma repeats. It all passes down.

The world revolves in circles. On and on. On and on. On and on.

III

When The Woman and The Man looked into each other's eyes. The Woman saw a reflection of herself in The Man's eyes. One of her eye saw the reflection of pure and beautiful part of herself in The Man's eyes; so beautiful, elegant and docile. While the other eye saw the fiercest, darkest and most primal part of herself in The Man's eyes; so frightening, imposing and terrifying.

Then as love came into existence, both The Man and The Woman were overcome with Desire.

The Woman desired The Man's seed and hence everything except his testicles evaporated. The Man desired the Woman's Womb and nurturing abilities for his seed, and thus everything except The Woman's head, breasts and womb evaporated.

The womb then gave birth to material universe and various other things sprang forth from various other parts of both The Man and The Woman.

The Woman's eyes were jealous of each other based on the image they had seen in The Man's eyes. They separated from the head and went separate ways in the form of Infants. One of the Infants grew skin like a crocodile, was completely black; the other had skin like a baby and was completely white. One went on the head — in an inferno, other in the mouth — all the comfort and pleasures.

Since these Infants were born of the eyes of The Woman, they had perfect empathy with whatever they saw and could experience feelings deeply and intensely in regards to the sight, though in slightly different ways. They were doomed to watch the world and the Mankind and the resulting state of theirs became heaven for one infant and hell for other infant.

Both the infants can empathise with the pain they see.

But one of them experiences the eternal and meaningless suffering of Mankind and contrasts it to his own state of meaningless being and existence and how bad it is for him as compared to humans. At least people can die, and it all ends for them. But for him there is no escape. This makes him happy for humans and thus brings him immense bliss. This infant has the black skin and lives in the inferno on The Woman's head.

And the other infant experiences the same eternal meaningless suffering of Mankind and contrasts it with his own situation of how good it is for him. How he has all the pleasures and comfort and an eternity to experience them. While there is nothing of the sort for the humans. This brings him immense pain. This infant has the white skin and lives in the mouth.

The bliss of the black infant is so profound that it overpowers all of his pain of being continuously being burnt by an inferno and ultimately provides him the experience of heaven. While the pain of the white infant is so profound that it overpowers all of his comfort and pleasures and ultimately provides him with the experience of hell.

Paradoxical.

GOD, who has lost her eyes and is blind can only go by the sound of her infants. She aims for the best and tries to make laughter and joy overpower the crying she hears. In doing so she makes Mankind suffer. Puts them in pain. Her existence is also meaningless to herself. But she chooses to strive for something. She chooses smiles of someone else over her and other's pain. She could have chosen pain over smiles too. But she didn't. She didn't.

She brings you misery. She brings you pain. She makes you suffer. She is Benevolent.

YOUR suffering and pain mean nothing.
GOD makes a choice.
LAUGHS are no better a choice than tears.
WHILE tears of any kind are always better than no tears.
YOU are destined for death.
CRY a little while you're at it.

"I believe in Spinoza's God, who reveals Himself in the lawful harmony of the world, not in a God who concerns himself with the fate and the doings of mankind." Albert Einstein